CUT FROM DIFFERENT CLOTH

 

My parents were born between the wars,

And in their day

People were cut from different cloth

A sturdy resilient cloth

A cloth that bound the nation together

They were tougher people

Who lived through tough times

The general strike, the depression

The Second World War

20 years of rationing

But life had greater value

Because its pleasures came hard

And life was more than a measure

Of what could be possessed

The post baby boomers

Roll their eyes at such talk

But our country is weaker

And its people

Less sturdy, less resilient

Today we are a ragged nation

Just a collection of frayed threads

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 24

 

An apple a day

Keeps the doctor away

Isn’t really true

So, the best thing to do

Is squirt some mace

Into their face

HAPPY BIRTHDAY # 20

 

I wish you a happy birthday

And I won’t mention your age

But if you were a bottle of wine

You would definitely be vint-age

If you were a wheel of cheese

You would certainly be mature

And if you were a sports car

You’d be a classic that’s for sure

You are someone special

A one off you’re quite unique

But to be honest you should accept

You’re actually an antique

FRIENDSHIP # 5

 

Dearest friend, thank you

For being the hand that steadies me

And the foundation beneath me

You’re the calm on my sea

PUT DOWN # 23

Put downs work the best

For deflecting unwanted attention

But try to be amusing

As this relieves the tension

“Wow your body is like a temple”

He might well say

Just reply to him

“Sorry, there are no services today” 

DOCTOR IN MOTION

 

“Doctor I have chronic diarrhoea

And I think it’s hereditary”

“Nonsense man I can assure you

Diarrhoea is not hereditary,

And no matter how chronic it is

It’s not as bad as it seems”

“But doctor I know it’s hereditary

Because it’s in my jeans”

FASHION VICTIMS

 

There is a new fashion range

Launching in the spring

And if you are of certain bent

Then for you it’s just the thing

 

There will be corduroy trousers

With a very high waist

And knitted sleeveless sweaters

To suit every taste

 

Jackets will be of Harris Tweed

With leather elbow patches

Shirt collars will button down

On a tie that never matches

 

So when will these hit the shops?

Is that the question I hear?

Be patient it will be with us soon

And it’s known as Boffin wear