The pop diva Amy Winehouse
It was announced in the press today
May stay in Frankie Howerd’s old house
if Amy’s Mum manages to get her way
Her mum told her she has to go to rehab
But Amy said nay, nay and thrice nay
Friday, 28 January 2022
TITTER YE NOT AMY rewrite
Thursday, 27 January 2022
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 1
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
Thanks to a litigious
culture, and a legal vulture
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES – A QUESTION OF SYLLABLES
“Ok class, today we will learn
About words with multi
syllables”
The teacher addressed
her class
“Does anyone have an
example?”
One boy put up his
hand
“Please miss I have an
example”
He wrote on the blackboard
“Mas-tur-bate”
Then said “that is my
example”
The teacher was a
little embarrassed
"Gosh that’s a mouthful."
"No, Miss, you're thinking of a blowjob
And that has fewer
syllables”
I WENT TO A FUNERAL TODAY
I went to a funeral today
What a totally depressing day
In was a humanist service
Cold and utterly soulless
With some mumbling buffoon
Waffling on in monotone
A couple of poorly read poems
From some well-thumbed tomes
And ended in a fit of irony
To the tune of “stay with me”
He was not religious I will concede
But even a man lacking a creed
Should be launched into oblivion
To the sound of a rousing requiem
WOW FACTOR
When looking for a partner
Be a little smart
And pay attention to this wisdom
I wish to impart
Good looks will catch their eye
Which is a good start
But it takes a good personality
To catch their heart
GROWING OLD TOGETHER
Journey to our Autumn years
In my loving company
Let us age together
like old port
Or mature like a piece
of Brie
What joys the future
holds
If you spend your life
with me
BACHELOR BOY
A bachelor is so defined
As a man who doesn’t marry
When he is perfectly able
And as a result of bachelorhood
They miss the perfect opportunity
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