AT MY ADVANCED AGE # 3

 

At my advanced age

I can still cut the mustard

It’s just opening the jar

That I find so terribly hard

GIVING KIDS A BAD NAME

 

Giving kids a bad name

Is one of life’s absurdities

But those who really give kids

A bad name are, celebrities

THE EARLY BIRD GETS THE WORM

 

The early bird gets the worm

Isn’t that the correct term?

Well I have some advice to give

The late worm gets to live

THE CAT AND THE SQUIRREL

 

Look at me, the young cat purred

Look I am a very clever kitty

I am a huntress to be admired

I’ve caught a Squirrel as big as me

I deserve a treat for my cleverness

I’ve this trophy for you to see

And you need never know

It fell out of a tree

I HAD A FRIEND WHO VEHEMENTLY OPPOSED

 

I had a friend who vehemently opposed

All forms of parental discipline

Which was all well and good until she snapped

And put her son in a rubbish bin

I HEARD ABOUT A YOUNG ACTOR

 

I heard about a young actor

Who was playing the part of a Page

Fell through the floorboards

But he was just going through a stage

I SUFFER FROM KLEPTOMANIA

 

I suffer from kleptomania

I have to admit

But when it gets bad,

I take something for it