The Deputy PM, Two jags Prezza
Is
an exceedingly portly geezer
Yet
all the buzz of Westminster talk
Is
not his fondness for pies of pork
It
seems he no longer favour’s pies
But
much prefers breasts and thighs
Though
not the ones from KFC
But
the ones he finds on his secretary
My dad told me
“Susan’s
going to the West Indies you know”
So,
I said “Jamaica?”
Bimbette went to the doctors
To
talk about her pregnancy
Doc
asked, “Have you had a checkup?”
When I was growing up in the sixties we lived in North London and one of the things I really loved to do was to go swimming.
We were quite well fixed for pools in the area, and I would swim until
the chlorinated water left my eyes red and sore.
But of all the pools I swam in, the one I loved to swim in most of all
was the Durnsford Road Lido especially during the summer months.
It was only sixpence to get in and for that poultry sum you could stay
all day long which of course I did, and I would spend as many days of the
holidays there as I could.
Playing with friends and watching Mad Jack stunt diving off the high
platform.
When I first started to go there it was just a joy to spend all the time
in the sparkling water.
As I got older, I would come to appreciate the many delicacies on which
to feast the eyes upon, delicacy’s invisible to the eye of the eleven-year-old
boy who first visited the pool.
Whenever I arrived there was always someone there that I knew so even if
I went on my own, I could quite easily hook up with someone.
Some of them I knew from school others from where I lived, and some were
friends of friends.
I always used to take an old penny in the pool, and we would take turns
diving down for it or a group of us would play tag.
It was the same friends and the same games every year.
On one particular day when I was thirteen, I went with a friend called
Keith and his cousin Simon and after spending about an hour diving for a coin
we sat on the side of the pool and watched the leathery skinned Mad Jack
perform one of his eccentric dives from the high board
Almost before the ripples had subsided Maria Saunders and her friend
Lucy ran up behind us and pushed me and Keith in the pool and a chase ensued resulting
in Maria and Lucy being thrown in the 8-foot end and then being thoroughly
dunked.
This was the normal exchange between the four of us and it had been the
way of it since we were first years.
This time however when the four of us played tag it was different.
I eventually caught Maria after a long chase and during the ensuing
grapple something happened that had never happened before during our horseplay.
I got a hard on, we had played that game hundreds of times without as
much as a tickle in my trunks.
My first reaction to this unwelcome intrusion was to let go of Maria and
swim away.
But the erection merely faded temporarily and as the game of tag
continued it returned with a vengeance whenever I got in close proximity of
Maria and that afternoon, we seemed destined to be in close proximity most of
the time.
After the third attempt at swimming away failed to diminish my woody, I
abandoned the
Tactic.
After all, holding onto Marias voluptuous form whilst sporting a boner
was not an unpleasant experience and if she didn’t mind then I didn’t.
I realise looking back that Maria was well aware of my discomfiture and
made sure that she rubbed up against me.
Our clinches lasted much longer than normal, and Maria must have been
aware of my erection prodding at her nether regions, but she was clearly not
repulsed by it, in fact it was her more than I who seemed the most reluctant to
desist from our embrace.
And so like an eager confused puppy humping a stranger’s leg I had my
first ejaculation in the presence of another human being rubbing up against
Maria Saunders.
Happily, although it was the first, I’m pleased to say that it was not
to be the last time with Maria, in the pool or out of it.
Wearing a rather smug expression Maria stayed close to me the rest of the
day and afterwards I walked her home.
Does anyone know can Brion Toss?
I
often wonder is Ben Cross?
Did
anyone know was Austin Talle?
Derum, sorry if I’ve caused offence
I
will desist from this moment hence
I
received instructions from the Ed
“Give
as good as you get” is what was said
