SO SUPERIOR # 1

The great thing about being

Superior to foreigners

Is not indulging in ritual

Stoning of adulterers

CLEAR RICHARD

To clear the men’s lavatory

Two words will do the trick

Just walk slowly and look

Then simply say “nice dick”

CREATURES OF GREEK MYTHOLOGY – THE CRETAN BULL

 

As a punishment for not making a promised sacrifice to the Olympian god

The Cretan Bull a majestic creature was sent up to Crete by Poseidon

It impregnated Pasiphae the wife of King Minos producing the Minotaur

After it was captured by Heracles it was slain by Theseus at Marathon

PARKY

 

It’s the end of an era now Michael Parkinson has retired; he was the last of his kind, a special breed.

The last of great chat show host and a master of his craft, who considered a great interview to be one where he had to say very little.

Now alas we have comedians sitting in the hosts chair trying to fill his shoes.

Skinner and Norton and others of their ilk who think they’re at a gig and the guests are merely an extension of their audience.

The worst of all is Jonathon Ross who thinks himself the star and his guests are the supporting cast with whom he can manipulate the conversation to the point where he can use a pre-planned gag.

When he does stop performing his act and using his guests as the stooges to bounce his gags off and finally asks a question, he invariably answers the question as well normally with another tedious gag.

By the time, the interview is over you know no more about the guest than you did before it started.

But it’s not just comedians of course who have tried and failed Clive James, Clive Anderson, pop stars, politicians, royals, socialites you name them they’ve all tried it and the end result is always the same. Hosts who are more interested in what they have to say than their guests in short people with big egos only interested in self-promotion.

The guests themselves don’t help the situation as they are only there because their production company, recording co, publishing co etc. want them to publicize their latest project or product.

So now all the great interviewers have gone, and we must mourn the lost art of interviewing because none of the younger exponents have bothered to learn the craft from Michael Parkinson’s example.

WHATS IN A NAME (13)

 

Was anyone watching Steve Race?

Did anyone else see Lorraine Chase?

Does anyone know does Philip Cast?

What do you think will James Last?

BEAMERS (ACROSTICS)

 

With a look of superiority 

And Teutonic arrogance

Numbered instead of named

Known by reputation to be

Engineered to perfection

Replaced the Cortina in popularity

Sodding things are everywhere

HOW OLD? (CLERIHEW)

“How old are you next birthday dad?”

“I will be forty-eight” I told the lad

“Do you have liver spots?” “No, I don’t Ben”

“Have you had your midlife crisis then?”