EUROVISION

 

Every year we go through the same ritual where we the music loving British public have to select our contender for “the Eurovision song contest”.

We have placed before us, metaphorically speaking, the best five songs which have been whittled down from god knows how many by god knows who and we have to select our best candidate.

When you have watched and/or listened to the best five I ask myself the age old question “what were the rejected ones like”.

After hearing the five weapons of mass destruction I don’t care who wins.

FORENSIC RELATIONSHIP

 

The police have found a dead body

Well half of it as it was decapitated

They could only guess at marital status

If not divorced, then certainly separated

LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE # 7

 

There is a law of Fertlidge

Which should be universally taught

Objects can only be found

When they are no longer sought

YOUR ERROR

 

An error message is

A meaningless sentence

Or possibly a phrase

Similar in relevance

To rap song lyrics

And makes as much sense

SLOWLY SAM

 

Sam Peckinpah was a film director

Of films with action blood and gore

In celebration of his novel notion

He was duly buried in slow motion

WHAT?

 

What darkness

Leads a tortured soul

To break the bonds

Which hold us

Voluntarily

 

What illusion

So influences

A mind once so rational

To plot its own

Destruction

 

What delusion

That to escape sorrow

Convinces totally

You reach euphoria

By self-release

 

What question

Asked of a soul

Is so composed

That the answer be

Suicide

ABSENTEE (ACROSTICS)

 

Sarah was absent last week because she had an

Illness fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach.

Catherine, her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat,

Kenny, her brother had a low-grade fever and ached all over.

Nor was I the best either, 

Over come with a sore throat and fever.

There must be something going around,

Even her father got hot last night.