IT IS PERFECTLY CLEAR TO MOST OF US

 

It is perfectly clear to most of us

That atoms are the most conniving

Deceitful and untrustworthy

Because they make up everything

A NUMBER OF CHEMISTS WERE TAKEN ILL

 

A number of Chemists were taken ill

And try as we might we couldn’t Helium

And because we were unable to Curium

The only thing we could do was Barium

DID YOU HEAR OXYGEN

 

Did you hear oxygen

Is going out with magnesium

The first atom asked

OMg said the second atom

I’M GOOD AT CHEMISTRY AND I’M FUNNY # 2

 

I’m good at chemistry and I’m funny

Those are the talents, I rely upon

So when asked for a good Chemistry joke

I replied that all the good ones Argon

I’M GOOD AT CHEMISTRY AND I’M FUNNY # 1

 

I’m good at chemistry and I’m funny

Those are my only talents, so far

So when I was asked if I knew

Any jokes about sodium, I replied Na

I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION

 

I have come to the conclusion

That atoms are conniving

Deceitful and untrustworthy

Because they make up everything

MY GREAT UNCLE IS A SCIENTIST

 

My Great Uncle is a scientist

As well as a keen horticulturist

Which is quite evident to see

As he’s growing a chemistree

A WORLD RENOWNED SCIENTIST

A world-renowned scientist

Decided that he would utilize

A beautiful knocker on his door

And he won the No Bell prize

CHEMISTS AND ALCHEMISTS

 

Chemists and alchemists

Are both of feminine gender

Because one is an Ann Eliza

And the other a Charlotte Ann

MY FATHER IN LAW IS A PHYSICIST

My father-in-law is a Physicist

Who is oblivious to culinary tips

He is too focussed on his work

So, he lives on Fission chips 

SCIENTIST’S WERE EVER TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS

If scientists were ever to achieve success

In a cross breeding in which they would exult,

Between a rabbit’s foot and some poison ivy

Then a rash of good luck would be the result

IF BOTANIST’S WERE TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS

 

If botanists were to achieve success

A cross germination in which to exult

Between poison ivy and a four-leaf clover

A rash of good luck would be the result

PUBLIC INFORMATION MESSAGE

 

This is a public information message

The information is for everyone

Kindly heed this important warning 

If you wish to heat or cook a bun

 

Using the microwave and the toaster

Simultaneously must not be done

It could throw the earth out of orbit

And send us crashing into the sun

TRANSFUSION CONFUSION

Scientists have completed a study

And transfusions of Chicken blood

Are more beneficial medically

 

The positive side effects are that

It tends to make the men cocky

And women lay more regularly 

PHYSICS QUESTIONS

 

Physicists pose important questions

Beneath the Swiss mountain slopes

With their large Hadron collider

And when for the answers they grope

Is the tool that measures their success

Going to be called a collider scope?

IF SCIENTIST’S WERE EVER TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS

 

If scientists were ever to achieve success

In a cross breeding in which they would exult,

Between a rabbit’s foot and some poison ivy

Then a rash of good luck would be the result

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS BEING EXPLORED

 

Artificial Intelligence is being explored

By science, despite its inadvisability

But then education and inquisitiveness

Are no defence against natural stupidity

A NUMBER OF CHEMISTS WERE TAKEN ILL

 

A number of Chemists were taken ill

And try as we might we couldn’t Helium

And because we were unable to Curium

The only thing we could do was Barium

DID YOU HEAR OXYGEN

 

Did you hear oxygen

Is going out with magnesium

The first atom asked

OMg said the second atom

IT IS PERFECTLY CLEAR TO MOST OF US

 

It is perfectly clear to most of us

That atoms are the most conniving

Deceitful and untrustworthy

Because they make up everything