How many men does it take?
To
change the toilet, roll today
Nobody
knows the answer
Because
it never happens anyway
Sunday, 7 February 2021
THE MALE ROLL
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I don’t know what to do
About all the sex, nudity,
Foul language and violence
On my DVD
LAST NIGHT I HAD FOR MY TEA
Last night I had for my tea
A
delicious beef stew
With
dumplings, better known
THE DIARY OF A VIRGIN
The diary of a Virgin
Is
a very short read
As
there are within
No
entries indeed
THE WHITE HORIZONTAL PLUME
The white horizontal plume
Streams
in its wake
Like
a long grey ribbon
As
the locomotive powers on
A
truly romantic image
Of
the great age of steam
Saturday, 6 February 2021
I DO PREFER NATURAL BEAUTY
I saw her and thought “not a fan”
She
was all extensions and fake tan
And
she’d applied the slap thick
And
her lips needed a chap stick
I
thought it again as she left lipstick
Around
my undiscerning dipstick
GREEN LEATHER CHESTERFIELD
In green leathered comfort
I
sat in a Chesterfield
In
an atmosphere
That
totally appealed
Among
my piers
In
silent appreciation
Almost
a reverence
Of
our quiet situation
A
brandy on the table
A
cigar in the ash tray
And
the world held
Well
and truly at bay
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