THE FIERCE SPRING GALES
The fierce spring gales
Howl all through the night
Whipping up the seas
And turning wave tops white
The poor souls at sea
On the dark spring night
In the teeth of the tempest
Feel it’s savage bite
And pray to their gods
To save them from their plight
As the gale blows through
On the dark spring night
IN THE DEWY SPRING MEADOW
In the dewy spring meadow
I watch the dawn’s first rays
Beginning to evaporate the mist
In the majesty of the spring days
BENEATH THE GREY SKIES
Beneath the grey skies
In the crisp morning air
An over confident fox
Chases after a march Hare
IN A COUNTRY LANE
In a country lane
Where the noise of a highway
Is thought too fanciful
A wagon carries bales of hay
As the farmer heads home
At the end of the day
Saturday, 11 February 2017
BE MY VALENTINE
BE MY VALENTINE # 1
On Valentines Day
The valentine card said to the stamp
Stick with me and we'll go places!
While the farmer gave his wife
Hogs and kisses!
And the caveman gave his wife
Ughs and kisses!
BE MY VALENTINE # 2
On Valentines Day
The chocolate syrup said to the ice cream
"I'm sweet on you!"
While the pencil said to the paper
"I dot my i's on you!"
And the light bulb asked his girlfriend
Do I mean a whole watt to you?"
BE MY VALENTINE # 3
On Valentines Day
The bat said to his girlfriend
"You're fun to hang around with."
And the paper clip said to the magnet?
"I find you very attractive."
BE MY VALENTINE # 4
On Valentines Day
The nearsighted porcupine
Fell in love with a pin cushion!
And the elephant said to his girlfriend
"I love you a ton!"
BE MY VALENTINE # 5
On Valentines Day
One pickle said to the other
"Your love means a great dill"
Even skunks celebrate Valentine's Day
Because they're very scent-imental!
On Valentines Day
The valentine card said to the stamp
Stick with me and we'll go places!
While the farmer gave his wife
Hogs and kisses!
And the caveman gave his wife
Ughs and kisses!
BE MY VALENTINE # 2
On Valentines Day
The chocolate syrup said to the ice cream
"I'm sweet on you!"
While the pencil said to the paper
"I dot my i's on you!"
And the light bulb asked his girlfriend
Do I mean a whole watt to you?"
BE MY VALENTINE # 3
On Valentines Day
The bat said to his girlfriend
"You're fun to hang around with."
And the paper clip said to the magnet?
"I find you very attractive."
BE MY VALENTINE # 4
On Valentines Day
The nearsighted porcupine
Fell in love with a pin cushion!
And the elephant said to his girlfriend
"I love you a ton!"
BE MY VALENTINE # 5
On Valentines Day
One pickle said to the other
"Your love means a great dill"
Even skunks celebrate Valentine's Day
Because they're very scent-imental!
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES YET AGAIN
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 17
A diller, a dollar, a 10 o'clock scholar,What makes you arrive so late
It’s no good arriving at 10 o'clock
You’re Headmaster for goodness sake
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 18
There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Growing in the middle of her chest
With the sunlight on her
It looked like a comma
That punctuated her pert little breasts
(Little girl in this case refers to stature and not age, so stop composing a complaint already)
(Not really a nursery rhyme I know
So sorry to the fans of Longfellow)
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 19
A diller, a dollar, a 10 o'clock scholar,
A diller, a dollar, a 10 o'clock scholar,What makes you arrive so late
It’s no good arriving at 10 o'clock
You’re Headmaster for goodness sake
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 18
There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Growing in the middle of her chest
With the sunlight on her
It looked like a comma
That punctuated her pert little breasts
(Little girl in this case refers to stature and not age, so stop composing a complaint already)
(Not really a nursery rhyme I know
So sorry to the fans of Longfellow)
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 19
A diller, a dollar, a 10 o'clock scholar,
What makes you come so soon?
Just think about cricket the next time
Just think about cricket the next time
That we get down to it in my room
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 20
Twinkle, twinkle little star,
How I wonder what you are?
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 20
Twinkle, twinkle little star,
How I wonder what you are?
Are you a star twinkling bright?
Or just another bloody satellite
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 21
Tom, Tom the pipers son
Or just another bloody satellite
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 21
Tom, Tom the pipers son
Stole a pig and away he ran,
The pig was ate and it tasted great
And so said everyone on Tom’s estate
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 22
Twinkle, twinkle little star,
How I wonder what you are?
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 22
Twinkle, twinkle little star,
How I wonder what you are?
Are you the star I saw before?
Or an earth destroying meteor
Or an earth destroying meteor
Tuesday, 31 January 2017
Tales of Love # 21
LOVE ARRIVED LIKE A TEMPEST
Love arrived like a tempest
Sweeping him off his feet
Leaving him breathless
And trembling in its wake
But although the storm
Was a wind of change
Which altered him forever
It was not a breath of fresh air
Her love was toxic
She controlled like a terror
And even loves betrayal
Could not break the spell
YOUR HEART IS AN OASIS
Your heart is an oasis,
A place of love,
Where Venus resides,
But she resides alone
As you will not let me in
I REMEMBER FALLING IN LOVE
I remember falling in love
When there was beauty in the world
A love shared by me and you
Which we thought would last
As long as the world kept turning
But we were in error
Because the love has gone
And in our hearts
There is an empty hollow
Pining for what was lost
While in the shadows
Lay our discarded dreams
Lost and lingering
In the gloom
Where the sun light’s ray
Cannot penetrate
And our love cannot be revived
THE HONEY BEE AND THE ROSE
The honey Bee
Loves the flower
In particular the Rose
But the flower is indifferent
As it views the Bee
Through sweet petal veil
But the Bee is content and
Doesn’t need his love returned
For Rose is his passion
And will always be
Love arrived like a tempest
Sweeping him off his feet
Leaving him breathless
And trembling in its wake
But although the storm
Was a wind of change
Which altered him forever
It was not a breath of fresh air
Her love was toxic
She controlled like a terror
And even loves betrayal
Could not break the spell
YOUR HEART IS AN OASIS
Your heart is an oasis,
A place of love,
Where Venus resides,
But she resides alone
As you will not let me in
I REMEMBER FALLING IN LOVE
I remember falling in love
When there was beauty in the world
A love shared by me and you
Which we thought would last
As long as the world kept turning
But we were in error
Because the love has gone
And in our hearts
There is an empty hollow
Pining for what was lost
While in the shadows
Lay our discarded dreams
Lost and lingering
In the gloom
Where the sun light’s ray
Cannot penetrate
And our love cannot be revived
THE HONEY BEE AND THE ROSE
The honey Bee
Loves the flower
In particular the Rose
But the flower is indifferent
As it views the Bee
Through sweet petal veil
But the Bee is content and
Doesn’t need his love returned
For Rose is his passion
And will always be
A Mixed Bag Of Verse # 3
PARALYMPIANS
They should not be seen as disabled
When they compete
A Paralympian should be viewed
Simply as an Athlete
IF YOU’VE LEARNED NOTHING IN LIFE
If you’ve learned nothing in life
Take this piece of advice from me
Remember this if nothing else,
Your character is your destiny
DISABILITY SPORT
They may well be considered
In life to have a Vulnerability
But where sport is concerned
They have no such disability
So calling it “Disability Sport”
Couldn’t be more misleading
When the limits they are given
They are constantly exceeding
Don’t look at them as disabled
But as sportsmen and women
Because in the arena of sport its
As athletes you should define them
THE FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS
Candlemas Day,
The festival of lights
40 days after Epiphany
Is celebrated to mark
The Presentation of Christ
In The Temple,
OLYMPIANS V PARALYMPIANS
The Olympics is the pinnacle
For any man and woman
But I believe that an Olympian
Is actually merely Human
Whereas a Paralympian
Is quite obviously Super Human
SAINT DAVID
Saint David was born in the 5th century
A scion of the royal house of Ceredigion,
And founded a Celtic Monastic order,
At Glyn Rhosyn, the Vale of Roses,
Which became an important Christian shrine
Where St David's Cathedral stands today
They should not be seen as disabled
When they compete
A Paralympian should be viewed
Simply as an Athlete
IF YOU’VE LEARNED NOTHING IN LIFE
If you’ve learned nothing in life
Take this piece of advice from me
Remember this if nothing else,
Your character is your destiny
DISABILITY SPORT
They may well be considered
In life to have a Vulnerability
But where sport is concerned
They have no such disability
So calling it “Disability Sport”
Couldn’t be more misleading
When the limits they are given
They are constantly exceeding
Don’t look at them as disabled
But as sportsmen and women
Because in the arena of sport its
As athletes you should define them
THE FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS
Candlemas Day,
The festival of lights
40 days after Epiphany
Is celebrated to mark
The Presentation of Christ
In The Temple,
OLYMPIANS V PARALYMPIANS
The Olympics is the pinnacle
For any man and woman
But I believe that an Olympian
Is actually merely Human
Whereas a Paralympian
Is quite obviously Super Human
SAINT DAVID
Saint David was born in the 5th century
A scion of the royal house of Ceredigion,
And founded a Celtic Monastic order,
At Glyn Rhosyn, the Vale of Roses,
Which became an important Christian shrine
Where St David's Cathedral stands today
Monday, 30 January 2017
A Little Bit Of Humour # 140
FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 15
The true nature of fairy tales
Are for the devotee, a heartbreaker
Because the tales were sanitized
Such as the Elves and the Hoe maker
I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 10
I went into hospital for minor surgery
The whole surgical team acted like comedians
As I was going under I heard the surgeon say
“Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!”
ARE YOU WEARING BUBBLE WRAP?
Are you wearing bubble wrap?
Well that is a novel form of dress
But if I were to start popping the bubbles
Would that cause you any distress?
I DON’T WALK WITH THE CROWD
I don’t walk with the crowd and
I’m not the usual Microwave user
I like to stop it at one second
Just to feel like a bomb de-fuser.
THE SECRET TO A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE # 2
The secret to a happy married life
Is that good things needn’t be hurried
So be engaged for at least six months
Before the two of you get married
I DON’T MIND YOU NOT BEING GLAMMED UP
I don’t mind you not being glammed up
But a gent’s tweed suit is not your normal attire
Is there any reason for your change of style?
Is the masculine look some form of satire?
THE BEST EASTER ACTOR OF ALL TIME # 3
I saw Arnie eating a chocolate egg
So I said “I know what your favourite
Christian festival is” and he said
“You have to love Easter, baby”
THE GRIM REAPER CAME FOR ME LAST NIGHT
The Grim Reaper came for me last night
And I could barely catch my breath
But I beat him away with a vacuum cleaner
And was really Dyson with death.
AN UMBRELLA WAS LIKE A PANCAKE
Granddad always said, an umbrella was like
A pancake, but I didn’t know what he meant?
I only found out many years later that it was
Because they were seldom seen after lent
WHEN HIS FOOD ARRIVED
When his food arrived
He saw something distressing
“There’s a button in my salad”
The waiter said, messing
“That's all right, sir,
It's just part of the dressing”
The true nature of fairy tales
Are for the devotee, a heartbreaker
Because the tales were sanitized
Such as the Elves and the Hoe maker
I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 10
I went into hospital for minor surgery
The whole surgical team acted like comedians
As I was going under I heard the surgeon say
“Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!”
ARE YOU WEARING BUBBLE WRAP?
Are you wearing bubble wrap?
Well that is a novel form of dress
But if I were to start popping the bubbles
Would that cause you any distress?
I DON’T WALK WITH THE CROWD
I don’t walk with the crowd and
I’m not the usual Microwave user
I like to stop it at one second
Just to feel like a bomb de-fuser.
THE SECRET TO A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE # 2
The secret to a happy married life
Is that good things needn’t be hurried
So be engaged for at least six months
Before the two of you get married
I DON’T MIND YOU NOT BEING GLAMMED UP
I don’t mind you not being glammed up
But a gent’s tweed suit is not your normal attire
Is there any reason for your change of style?
Is the masculine look some form of satire?
THE BEST EASTER ACTOR OF ALL TIME # 3
I saw Arnie eating a chocolate egg
So I said “I know what your favourite
Christian festival is” and he said
“You have to love Easter, baby”
THE GRIM REAPER CAME FOR ME LAST NIGHT
The Grim Reaper came for me last night
And I could barely catch my breath
But I beat him away with a vacuum cleaner
And was really Dyson with death.
AN UMBRELLA WAS LIKE A PANCAKE
Granddad always said, an umbrella was like
A pancake, but I didn’t know what he meant?
I only found out many years later that it was
Because they were seldom seen after lent
WHEN HIS FOOD ARRIVED
When his food arrived
He saw something distressing
“There’s a button in my salad”
The waiter said, messing
“That's all right, sir,
It's just part of the dressing”
True Nature # 8
THE FIERCE WINTER GALES
The fierce winter gales
Howl all through the night
Whipping up the seas
And turning wave tops white
The poor souls at sea
On the dark winter night
In the teeth of the tempest
Feel it’s savage bite
And pray to their gods
To save them from their plight
As the gale blows through
On the dark winter night
IN THE DEWY WINTER MEADOW
In the dewy winter meadow
I watch the dawn’s first rays
Beginning to evaporate the mist
In the majesty of winter days
A CAVE
A cave, in the face of the cliff
Like a mouth, wild and mad,
Snarling like a demon
Across the barren land
From where a wind blew
Into the cavernous mouth
and howled like a Ghost
Calling out in despair
AN OAK
An Oak, tall as a cathedral spire
Cast a mighty shadow
As the setting of the sun
Turns the western sky to fire
The fierce winter gales
Howl all through the night
Whipping up the seas
And turning wave tops white
The poor souls at sea
On the dark winter night
In the teeth of the tempest
Feel it’s savage bite
And pray to their gods
To save them from their plight
As the gale blows through
On the dark winter night
IN THE DEWY WINTER MEADOW
In the dewy winter meadow
I watch the dawn’s first rays
Beginning to evaporate the mist
In the majesty of winter days
A CAVE
A cave, in the face of the cliff
Like a mouth, wild and mad,
Snarling like a demon
Across the barren land
From where a wind blew
Into the cavernous mouth
and howled like a Ghost
Calling out in despair
AN OAK
An Oak, tall as a cathedral spire
Cast a mighty shadow
As the setting of the sun
Turns the western sky to fire
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