IF THE TELEPHONE RINGS AT 4AM

If the telephone rings at 4am

Thereby disturbing your slumber

Don’t be angry if it’s not for you

It could have been the right number

I HATE AUTOMATED SWITCHBOARDS

 

I hate automated switchboards

They are so annoyingly slow

I wanted to book tickets

For an Elvis act a know

Each minute on the phone

Was costing me dough

Then at last it said press 1

For the money, 2 for the show

BEWARE THE IDES…

Caesar and Brutus were talking one day

About the phones with the most cachet

They discussed the best deals of the day

Then friend Brutus thought to say

“What network are you with by the way?”

Caesar promptly replied “O2 Brute”