IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 5

 

If your blind date is described to you

As “passionate and beautiful” don’t try her

Because in all probability she’ll be 

A Sloppy drunk and a pathological liar

THE POLICE ARE BEING ISSUED WITH PENCILS

 

The police are being issued with pencils and

Very thin sheets of paper, all very low tech

It’s a new initiative being rolled out so that

When crimes occur, they can trace a suspect

THE BLIZZARD OF OZ

 

The Blizzard of Oz

Continued to blow

Until the yellow brick road

Was covered in snow

MY DOCTOR IS A LOCUM

 

My doctor is a Locum

Who replaced Dr Slocombe

And all I get is Hokum

With a sprinkling of bunkum

But I have my heath so Ho hum

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 267

 

Bless you, bless you, bonny bee:

Say, when will your wedding be?

I’m only interested I should say

So, we can all come and ruin your day

ARE YOU WEARING A SHOCKED EXPRESSION?

 

Are you wearing a shocked expression?

Well, that’s certainly the impression

But it’s never as bad as it seems

“You’ve just seen the girl of your dreams?”

“In which case you have my sympathy

Because I’ve had dreams like that you see”

ARE YOU WEARING A DEVILISH OUTFIT?

Are you wearing a devilish outfit?

Just the thing for a Halloween night

A real devilish red bloodied treat

All sinful red and ultra-skin-tight