Send me on a quest
To win your heart
Set me any task
And I will do my part
Across any ocean
I will gladly sail
Through seas of calm
And force ten gale
Across any mountain
I will gladly climb
No matter how long
I will take the time
Across any desert
On my hands and knees
I will whatever
I must do to please
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern
Contrary to the rumour
of their demise
Are presenting shows
as Ant and Dec
In their most cunning
disguise
I’ve enrolled my wife
On an evening class
So she will learn how to
Start a conversation
During the commercials
In the same way I do
My crazy brother in law
Has had a penis
extension
Now visitors approach
his
House with real apprehension
Under a slate grey sky
Or against a back drop
of blue
Crossing bridges
Over river and stream
Thru woods and fields
Onward and upward
Over hill and vale
Riding the rails
The Locomotive speeds
Across the countryside
The marvel of the age
I am not by any means
A domestic goddess
To be perfectly honest
My house is a bloody
mess
So by way of
camouflaging
My domestic disgrace
I always keep on
display
Above the fireplace
Get well soon cards
Displayed to be seen
By guests who think
I’ve been too ill to
clean
