A FOREIGN STUDENT FROM CALCUTTA # 2

A foreign student from Calcutta

Accidentally snorted curry powder

Thinking it was cocaine the silly duffer

He survived but he’s got a dicky Tikka

SHE TELLS ME WHEN TO START

 

She tells me when to start

And when not to hesitate

She tells me when to stop

And when I should indicate

She tells me when to speed

And when to use the brake

She tells me when to stay in lane

And when it’s safe to overtake

She tells me if I leave a gap

And when I get too near

She tells me when to accelerate

And when I should change gear

She tells me when the light is green

And when the light is red

I don’t know why I married her

She’s just the same in bed

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM

 

Happy birthday mum

See, we did remember

Because you are so dear

Just like every year

 

We will never forget

We just wish and wish

You were still here

Just like every year

 

So we wish you

A happy birthday

And wipe away a tear

Just like every year

 

Mary Evelyn Curtis 20/1/1921 – 29/3/1993

I WENT TO THE CEMETERY WITH GRANDDAD

 

I went to the cemetery with Granddad

To visit the grave of Grandma Dot

But after an hour of wandering around

I thought Granddad had lost the plot

WHEN MY DAD WAS A BOY

 

When my dad was a boy

There was no such thing as sushi

In fact during the depression

Eating raw fish was considered poverty

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 201

 

Three little kitties

They lost their skimpies,

And they began to cry,

"Oh mother dear,

We sadly fear

That we have lost our skimpies."

"What! Lost your skimpies,

You silly kitties!

That’s the third time this month

ARE YOU WEARING SOCKS?

 

Are you wearing socks?

Tell me that you are, pray

Why must you adopt

The most bohemian way

And be quite sock less

On your wedding day