MY GREAT GRANDFATHER NEVER

 

My Great Grandfather never

Threw anything away in his decade

Which was a shame really

As he was killed by a hand grenade

THE HEART OF A LION

 

My granddad has

The heart of a Lion

And a lifetime ban

From Woburn

MY GRANDPARENTS HAVE LOADS OF SAYINGS

 

My grandparents have loads of sayings

“There’s no place like home” being one

But I’ve decided that they’re hypocrites

As they won’t let us put them in one

MY GRANDCHILDREN LIVE IN THE CITY

 

My grandchildren live in the city

And they seem to be happy there

The youngest just started at cursery

That’s where small kids learn to swear

GRANDAD BEAT HIS WIFE TO DEATH

 

Grandad beat his wife to death

But it’s not so bad I should say

As it just means that he died

Before Grandma passed away

WHEN I WAS STILL A LITTLE KID

 

When I was still a little kid

I thought my grandad was a hero

Because he was Lollipop man

And I thought that was a superhero

MY GRANDDAD WAS WONDERFUL

 My Granddad was wonderful

He always smiled and never frowned

He’d always have a treat for me

He was Father Christmas all year round

I WENT TO THE CEMETERY WITH GRANDDAD

 

I went to the cemetery with Granddad

To visit the grave of Grandma Dot

But after an hour of wandering around

I thought Granddad had lost the plot

RED LEATHER CHAIR

 

My earliest memory

Of Grandpa Henry

Is of him sat in his chair,

A red leather affair,

Reading a volume

Of prose in his room

He sat me on his knee

And then he read to me

And for an age, we pair

Sat in his red leather chair

Reading tales of daring

And in adventures sharing

I TOOK HIM TO THE MOUNTAIN

 

I took my grandson

Up into the mountains

We walked for three hours

Until we reached a vantage point

And we sat and looked in awe

At Gods majestic landscape

My intention was to impart some wisdom

To my young grandson

About how he was at the start line

And I had the finish line in sight

But I didn’t in the end

It was only when we had hiked

For three hours down the mountain

That I remembered

Why we went up there in the first place

MY GREAT GRANDFATHER NEVER

 

My Great Grandfather never

Threw anything away in his decade

Which was a shame really

As he was killed by a hand grenade

MY GRANDCHILDREN LIVE IN THE CITY

 

My grandchildren live in the city

And they seem to be happy there

The youngest just started at cursery

That’s where small kids learn to swear

MY GRANDPARENTS HAVE LOADS OF SAYINGS

 

My grandparents have loads of sayings

“There’s no place like home” being one

But I’ve decided that they’re hypocrites

As they won’t let us put them in one

GRANDPA ALWAYS SAID THAT HE WANTED

 

Grandpa always said that he wanted,

And he had the plans formalised,

That he would be laid to rest with Nan

So on his death we had her euthanized