A THESAURUS IS PRECIOUS

 

A thesaurus is precious

There’s no doubt about it

A thesaurus is great

There's no other word for it

SLEEP IS MY MOST FAVOURITE THING

 

Sleep is my most favourite thing

From lights out to days dawning

In fact it would be true to say

It's the why I get up in the morning

THE REASON WHY COWS HAVE HOOVES

 

The reason why cows have hooves

Instead of feet, everyone knows,

Because they are cloven footed

For the simple reason they lactose

I WAS NEARLY KILLED BY A SALT LORRY

 

I was nearly killed by a salt lorry

As I was riding in Surrey Heath

I was so angry I shouted at the driver

Though it was through gritted teeth

ARE YOU WEARING POINTY SHOES?

 

Are you wearing pointy shoes?

 Is that because they are on trend?

Well I’m sorry but I have to ask

“Do your toes go right to the end?”

WHEN MY WIFE REACHED FORTY

 

When my wife reached forty

Despite all the happy memories

I was left with no alternative

But to change her for two twenties

FEMINIST CHEESE

 

Feminists once burned their bras

Which understandably caused a stir

But today we have a feminist cheese

And it’s been named Germaine Gruyere