I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 6

 

I went into hospital for minor surgery

And the anaesthetist thought he was funny

When the nurse dropped a scalpel he said     

“Sterile, shcmerile. the floor's clean, really”

DRIED FRUIT TRADE

 

A customer said “I want to swap a bag

Of sultanas for two bags of raisins mate”

“I can only give you one bag” he was told

“Because that’s the currant exchange rate”

RIGHT ANGLED TRIANGLES

 

I wanted to buy some right angled triangles

And I wanted to do it without any fuss

So I asked around and took expert advice  

And I was told to go to Pythag-R-Us

EXPERIENCED IN THE BEDROOM DEPARTMENT

 

I only dated my wife

Because I was told she was

“Experienced in the bedroom department”

Sadly it was gained

At Ikea over twenty years

Of course it was too late by then to lament

MY LUGGAGE GOT TRASHED AT THE AIRPORT

 

My luggage got trashed at the airport

So I made a claim at the appropriate place

But after filling out all the relevant forms

I was told I didn’t have much of a case

MY WIFE SENT ME TO BUY OXO CUBES

 

My wife sent me to buy Oxo cubes

Down at the local corner shop

But I returned home empty handed

Because they were out of stock

WE NEEDED A FAMILY HOLIDAY

 

We needed a family holiday

But lack of finances can restrict

So I had to take them all

Up to the Off Peak District