21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 367

 

Mary had a little lamb

She couldn’t stop it bleating

So, Mary snapped and the lamb

Made very good eating

ARE YOU WEARING VELVET?

 

Are you wearing velvet?

That’s the sexiest dress yet

Do you mind if I touch?

Oh, I like that very much

I don’t think we should go out

I think without a doubt

We should definitely stay in

And then we can both sin

MY NEIGHBOURS ARE OBNOXIOUS

 

My neighbours are obnoxious, rude

And loud and they’re doing in my cranium

They are so intolerable that I finally

Know, what it must be like to be a Canadian

I GOT CHATTING ON THE EURO STAR

 

I got chatting on the Euro Star

And I really rather enjoyed it

First, I made a Belgian waffle

And then a Frenchman talk shit

WHEN I WAS STILL A LITTLE KID

 

When I was still a little kid

I thought my grandad was a hero

Because he was Lollipop man

And I thought that was a superhero

MY GRANDAD WAS KILLED BY A ZULU

 

I was always led to believe that

My grandad was killed by a Zulu

But he was killed when the roof

Collapsed in a London Zoo Loo

I LEARNED COUNTING USING DRIED SEMOLINA

 

I learned counting using dried semolina

Everything else was superfluous

It’s the way we used to do it in Morocco

It was what we call our Abacouscous