ARE YOU WEARING A FASCINATOR?

 

Are you wearing a fascinator?

Well tell be more about that

Oh, my imagination was all agog

But now you tell me it’s just a silly hat

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 334

 

Old Father Goose,

Had hands that would wander

But when he couldn’t goose

He had to settle for a gander

BOOF IS AN ACRONYM

 

BOOF is an acronym

For "burned out old fart"

I hope that doesn’t refer to me

I’ll tell you that for a start

ARE YOU WEARING A SPORRAN AGAIN?

 

Are you wearing a sporran again?

Wow that really is a beut

It’s an unusual choice though

A sporran with a safari suit

WHINGING BRITS ABROAD # 1

 

We went on holiday to Goa in India

We won’t go back in a hurry

I was disgusted to find that almost

Every restaurant served curry

TURN ON COUNTDOWN

 

Last night I was watching Countdown

And Rachel Riley in a colourful gown

When I told my wife, where I am housed

That when watching Rachel, I got Aroused

I could tell that I had let down my guard

Her instant response was to slap me, hard

She slapped me unconscious how absurd

And all I did was get a seven-letter word

POSTMAN LOSES SACK

 

“Postman loses sack”

The crossword-er said

How many letters?

A listener wondered

The former replied

About 500