ARE YOU WEARING A STOVEPIPE HAT?

 

Are you wearing a Stovepipe Hat?

Its height certainly exceeds

Are you trying to look taller?

Well a very wise man heeds

That any man is only as tall

As the sum of his deeds

ARE YOU WEARING A COCKED HAT?

Are you wearing a cocked hat?

With red, white and blue on

I hope you’re going to a party

And you don’t think you’re Napolean 

ARE YOU WEARING A BICORN HAT?

 

Are you wearing a bicorn hat?

With red, white and blue on

I hope you’re going to a party

And you don’t think you’re Wellington

ARE YOU WEARING A TRICORN HAT?

 

Are you wearing a tricorn hat?

It looks quite comfortable

I hope you’re going to a party

And you don’t think you’re John Bull

ARE YOU WEARING A DOILY?

 

Are you wearing a doily?

Oh it’s some kind of hat?

Oh it’s called a fascinator?

Well I never heard of that

PANAMA HATS

 

Regarding which country makes

Panama hats, I was seriously misled

It turns out they’re not Panamanian

And are made in Ecuador instead

ARE YOU WEARING A DUTCH CAP?

 

Are you wearing a Dutch cap?

Not the contraceptive madam

A hat from Holland, I see now

That it reads “I love Amsterdam”

ARE YOU WEARING A CHAPEAU?

 

Are you wearing a chapeau?

That’s the French for hat you know?

Well, you look quite sweet I must say

Though I’m not a huge fan of the beret

And the rather limp looking overcoat

It isn’t really what you’d call haute

But I need to find a condom dispenser

Because I have a thing for Frank Spencer

ARE YOU WEARING A FASCINATOR?

 

Are you wearing a fascinator?

Well tell be more about that

Oh, my imagination was all agog

But now you tell me it’s just a silly hat

RED HAT

 

She was a stunner

In her new red hat

And it turned a few heads

Have no doubt of that

 

She was not dressed

As someone one ignores

But everyone was thinking

“Red hat no drawers”

ARE YOU WEARING A RED CHAPEAU?

 

Are you wearing a red chapeau?

It’s a very daring choice of yours

Because wearing a red chapeau

They’ll say red hat and no drawers

ARE YOU WEARING A CHAPEAU?

 

Are you wearing a chapeau?

That’s the French for hat you know?

Well, you look quite sweet I must say

Though I’m not a huge fan of the beret

And the rather limp looking overcoat

It isn’t really what you’d call haute

But I need to find a condom dispenser

Because I have a thing for Frank Spencer