My brother has been seeing a psychiatrist
He pays one hundred
pounds a time
And he’s been doing it
for bloody years
I think he must be out
of his tiny mind
Monday, 17 October 2022
MY BROTHER HAS BEEN SEEING A PSYCHIATRIST
MY YOUNGER SISTER HAS SOME HABITS
My younger sister has some habits
That expose her to
certain dangers
One of which is her
innate ability
To annoy complete
strangers
GEORGE WASHINGTON CHOPPED DOWN
George Washington chopped down
His father's favourite
cherry tree,
Then George admitted
doing it
He was rewarded for
his honesty
When his father didn't
punish him
Well, those are the
accepted facts
But I think we should
consider
That George was still
holding the ax
THE GENERAL CONSENSUS
The general consensus
Is that it is
inappropriate
To spank a child, and
rightly so
Therefore, with my own
children
And grandchildren for
that matter
I adopted a different
tack
Whenever one of the
little darlings
Goes into “meltdown”
I take the unhappy
child
For a ride in the car
Where I find it
possible to talk to them
Some say it's the cars
vibration
Or the rhythm of the
vehicle
Or maybe it’s just
escaping
The modern-day gadgets
Whatever it is I
always find
A twenty-minute car
ride
With them tied to the
roof rack
Always does the trick
OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO STRONG
Our friendship is so strong
It will never
come apart,
Because the bonds of
friendship
Come straight from the
heart
POETRY CAN BE VERY ROMANTIC
Poetry can be very romantic
But it doesn’t work
for all
And it doesn’t really
count if
You write it on a toilet
wall
IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 1
If your blind date is described to you
As “Thoughtful” it’s
not the best start
As their
thoughtfulness will only extend
To saying "Excuse
me" when they fart
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