THE GIRL IN THE PEONY RED

 

I noticed her immediately

As I entered the bar

The girl in the Peony red

And playing about her lips

There was an acquiescent smile

Which was aimed my way

But I didn’t return it

And let it pass me by

She wasn’t my type after all

I’m quite fussy that way

But I did cast a glance

In the general direction

Of the eager entourage of  

Drooling men surrounding her

Feeding off her raw sexuality

And as I watched the mermaid

Surrounded by a pack of sharks

I realized that I had misread

The smile she sent my way

It wasn’t my company she sought

But my help she desired

She looked like a movie starlet

Cornered by the paparazzi

So, I rescued the damsel

And since that day

We have been best friends

IT’S BEEN TWENTY FIVE YEARS

 

It’s been twenty-five years

Since the day she said “I do”

Almost as long as when

I said to her “you’re not, are you?”

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 260

 

Says the little girl to the little boy,

"What shall we do?"

"I could play with your little toy"?

"That we could do"

ARE YOU WEARING CHAPS?

 

Are you wearing chaps?

And that perfectly fine of course

Apart from the one little fact

That you can’t ride a horse

ARE YOU WEARING STRIPED STOCKINGS?

 

Are you wearing striped stockings?

It must be that time of the year again

I know you think they’re cute, but

Your legs look like necrotic candy canes

FOGHORN LEGHORN THE COCKEREL

 

Foghorn Leghorn the Cockerel

Is happy to be the farmyard hick

Not through a lack of ambition

But he’s never short of a hot chick

ALL THE RABBITS IN THE FIELD

 

All the Rabbits in the field

Backed away from Farmer Kline

This strange phenomenon

Is known as a receding hareline