TOFU GATEAUX

 

For my birthday my kids

Bought me a Tofu Gateaux

Which was as much use to me

As a slinky in a bungalow

POLITICIANS PRETEND

 

Politicians pretend to

Represent the people

But in reality, they

See us merely as Sheople

DON’T REST UPON YOUR LAURELS

Don’t rest upon your laurels

Once you’ve reached top

Because someone on the ladder

Is just waiting for you to drop

IF YOU EAT A BURGER

 

If you eat a burger

And it gives you the trots

You will probably find

It was horsemeat like as not

ARE YOU WEARING A HALLOWEEN SWEATER?

Are you wearing a Halloween sweater?

It’s a bit cute and pretty in my view

So, if you don’t mind my saying so

You’re not a proper witch, are you?

I’M DATING A SKINNY PAIR OF TWINS

 

I’m dating a pair of skinny twins

They’re little more than skin and bone

And they are anorexic, it’s rather like

A case of two birds and one stone

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 248

 

To market, to market, to buy a plum cake;

Make sure it’s a plum cake, don’t make a mistake

I don’t want a Battenberg at any price

Because it is foreign and not very nice