MARRIED FOR TWELVE YEARS

 

When I said I’d been married for twelve years

My best mate laughed himself into tears

“You’d have got less for murder” he said flat

“No, I wouldn’t” I said “I already thought of that”

THE OFFER THAT SWUNG THE VOTE

 

The offer that swung the vote

On the recent referendum day

Was lowering healthy portions

From five, to three a day

TO UNDERSTAND DISABILITY

 

To understand disability, you should

Put yourself in their place

You might want to start by using

A disabled Parking space

AFRICA HAS ITS PROBLEMS

 

Africa has its problems

With the outbreak of Ebola

But spare a thought for

Every Little Englander

Who is exposed every

Summer to Tombola

MONEY MAY NOT INDEED BE THE KEY

 

Money may not indeed be the key

To happiness, but

If you have enough money, you can

Have your own key cut

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 247

 

John Cook was riding down the road

Pedalling fast

He hit a pothole

And has ridden his last

ARE YOU WEARING HANDCUFFS?

 

Are you wearing handcuffs?

What have you been arrested for?

You saw a dress in the shop window

And it was cheaper than before

So, you decided to try it on

And that’s what you’ve been arrested for?

Trying on a dress in the shop window?

You tried it on in the window of the store