BEER AND FOOTBALL

 

Beer and football are

As exciting for me

As handbags and shoes

Are for you, really

THE DIVORCE COURT JUDGE SAID

 

The divorce Court Judge said “Mr. Curtis,

I have decided to give your wife £500 a week”

“That’s very fair, your honour,' Mr Curtis said

“I can manage a few quid myself at a squeak”

I WENT TO A POSH JEWELLER

I went to a posh jeweller to buy a new watch,

And I told the geezer I wanted it really top notch

So, he said “Analogue” I replied “No, just a watch"

AS IVAN ILLICH ONCE WROTE

 

As Ivan Illich once wrote,

A man clearly cleverer than me

Who stated that within

A consumer society

There are inevitably

Two kinds of slaves

The prisoners of addiction

And the prisoners of envy

AN UNSUSPECTING PENSIONER

 An unsuspecting pensioner

Was approached by a professional begger

"Lady, I haven't eaten in three days."

"Force yourself dear," she says     

SCOTTISH INDEPENDENCE REFERENDUM, 2014

 

The Scottish Nationalists

Want to go for independence

Which is their prerogative

I am filled with indifference

Go or stay I don’t care

Its Scotland’s decision

As long as it’s a well informed

Choice for the division

But dear Alex Salmond

Is one of the arrogant asses

Views everything English

Thru Tartan tinted glasses

 

Thursday 18 September 2014.

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 239

 

My father left me three acres of land,

Oh grand, oh grand

And what can be found on this land?

Only sand, just sand