THE EMERGENCY ROOM DOCTOR

The Emergency Room doctor said

“I don't like the look of your wife at all sir”

“Nor me” he agreed “But she can cook,

Do the decorating and the kids like her”

AIRPORT AIRHEAD

Bimbette called the Airport and asked

“How long will it take to fly from London

To Athens?” The agent replied, “Just a minute”

“Thank you” Bimbette said and she was gone

AN OLD MAN GOES TO SEE A WIZARD

An old man goes to see a Wizard

To ask him to remove a curse

That had been on him forty years

The wizard said he was not averse

But he needed the words of the curse

To remove the cause of his strife

The man said I know them off by heart

“I now pronounce you man and wife”

THERE WAS A MURDER IN A NORFOLK VILLAGE

 

There was a murder in a Norfolk village

But the police are struggling to solve it

In fact they can’t even identify the body

Despite the corpse having an additional digit

The DNA matches everyone in the village

And dental records aren’t helping a bit

A MAN RECOVERING FROM SURGERY

A man recovering from surgery was asked

By the nurse “how are you feeling Mr Dukes?”

“I’m a little concerned about a four letter word

Uttered during the surgery by Doctor Proops”

“What exactly did he say?” asked the nurse.

The man went very pale and then said “Oops!” 

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 237

 

There was a little guinea-pig,

In my neighbours house

Why?

Anybody?

ARE YOU WEARING A PROPHYLACTIC?

 

Are you wearing a prophylactic?

What do you mean “what’s one of them”

Bloody hell, are you really that thick

A rubber? A frenchie? A Johnny? A condom?

It’s a contraceptive sheath, just put it on

So, I don’t get knocked up by a moron