21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 209

 

The man in the wilderness asked me

“How many strawberries grew in the sea”

I answered him, as I thought fit,

Leave me alone you annoying little shit

ARE YOU WEARING GLASSES?

 

Are you wearing glasses?

Because you tire of the passes

But they will ignore the glasses

Worn by girls with nice arses

I LIKED THE OLD BOND MOVIES

 

With reliable heroes

And camp villains

But I watched on recently

And I found it quite exhausting

Foot chases, car chases,

Running here, driving there

It left me quite out of breath

It didn’t leave room for a story

The old Bond films had a story

Punctuated with action

Now they had action

Punctuated by more action

Bond was one of a kind

But now I’m not sure

If I’m watching James Bond

Or Jason Bourne

DEAR MR CADBURY

 

Dear Mr Cadbury I would like to say in my view

That to find Someone, Is something of a coup

Who enjoys a chocolate finger as much as I do

HEIGH-HO, HEIGH-HO

 

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho

It's off to work we go

Well, we don’t exactly work at night

We just Pimp out Snow White

DREDGING IS NO SILVER BULLET

Dredging is no silver bullet

Is the word coming from their ranks

But at least it would be something

To prevent rivers bursting their banks

While the environment agency

Just blindly keep on firing blanks 

SLAVERY WAS BORN OF EMPIRE

 

Slavery was born of Empire

But not a European one

Slavery existed for centuries

In fact, thousands of years

Way before Europe rose to the fore

Even the Romans came late to the party

Following in Greece’s footsteps

Peoples were enslaved

From around the globe

Where there were trade routes

There was slaving

Arabs traded slaves bought

From African tribesmen

Muslims enslaved slavs

Turks enslaved Ukrainians

Mongols reached into the heart of Europe

And took slaves by the thousand

White Europeans became involved

Black enslaved black

White has enslaved white

I don’t know if it will ever end

I certainly hope so

But what I do know is

That the British didn’t invent it