ARE YOU WEARING A TUXEDO?

 

Are you wearing a tuxedo?

It’s so loud it makes a racket

No James Bond doesn’t wear one

He wears a proper dinner jacket

JUST HEARD THAT THE SEXY GIRL

 

I just heard that the sexy girl

From Goldfinger, Pussy Galore

Changed her name for the film

She was Fanny Aplenty before

NEW BOND VILLAIN

 

There is a new Bond villain

Although the story is old

His name is Gold sphincter

And he has piles of gold

I LIKED THE OLD BOND MOVIES

 

With reliable heroes

And camp villains

But I watched on recently

And I found it quite exhausting

Foot chases, car chases,

Running here, driving there

It left me quite out of breath

It didn’t leave room for a story

The old Bond films had a story

Punctuated with action

Now they had action

Punctuated by more action

Bond was one of a kind

But now I’m not sure

If I’m watching James Bond

Or Jason Bourne

DR. NO, NO, NO

 

In 2008

The next James Bond movie theme

Is to be performed

By Amy Winehouse it would seem

I heard her described

As Shirley Bassey with tattoos

Perhaps more accurately she’s

A tatty Shirley Bassey in my view

YESH MUM

 

In a poll of the sexiest men of the last millennium

Sean Connery came top of the lot for my mum

This isn’t so much a poll though I would suggest

My mum considers it to be more of her to do list