I WAS ONCE A MEDICAL STUDENT # 6

I was once a medical student

But it was harder than I thought

I was asked about terminal illness

Which isn’t being ill at an airport

MY SATNAV IS WORSE THAN MY WIFE

 

My satnav is worse than my wife

Telling me how to drive

If the limit is thirty miles an hour

It nags me, I’m doing thirty five

A FOREIGN STUDENT FROM CALCUTTA # 2

A foreign student from Calcutta

Accidentally snorted curry powder

Thinking it was cocaine the silly duffer

He survived but he’s got a dicky Tikka

SHE TELLS ME WHEN TO START

 

She tells me when to start

And when not to hesitate

She tells me when to stop

And when I should indicate

She tells me when to speed

And when to use the brake

She tells me when to stay in lane

And when it’s safe to overtake

She tells me if I leave a gap

And when I get too near

She tells me when to accelerate

And when I should change gear

She tells me when the light is green

And when the light is red

I don’t know why I married her

She’s just the same in bed

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM

 

Happy birthday mum

See, we did remember

Because you are so dear

Just like every year

 

We will never forget

We just wish and wish

You were still here

Just like every year

 

So we wish you

A happy birthday

And wipe away a tear

Just like every year

 

Mary Evelyn Curtis 20/1/1921 – 29/3/1993

I WENT TO THE CEMETERY WITH GRANDDAD

 

I went to the cemetery with Granddad

To visit the grave of Grandma Dot

But after an hour of wandering around

I thought Granddad had lost the plot

WHEN MY DAD WAS A BOY

 

When my dad was a boy

There was no such thing as sushi

In fact during the depression

Eating raw fish was considered poverty