THE WORLD HAS BECOME A BLEAKER PLACE

 

The world has become a bleaker place

And it will never be a safe world again

Death can be delivered unseen from above

I wish I could uninvent the Aeroplane

GREEK DEMETER

Greek Demeter

Guardian of the harvest

Goddess of the corn

Mother of Persephone

Goddess of fertility

Protector of matrimony 

MY SON CAME RUSHING HOME FROM SCHOOL

 

My son came rushing home from school

With great excitement from the start

“I’m in the play and I play a married man

I said, "So you didn’t get a speaking part?”

MY KIDS ARE MAD AT ME

 

I put Ginger in the Curry

And my kids are angry at that

I thought it was very tasty

But they really loved that cat

WHEN THEY TOLD CHERYL COLE

 

When they told Cheryl Cole

That she had la fièvre malerial

She just thought it must be

A new product from L’Oreal

NOT MY BETTER HALF

I went out with him

Because he was laugh

But now he’s just become

My bitter half

SHE WAS A REAL GOLD DIGGER

 

She was a real gold digger

And one of life’s man eaters

Who went about her task

With a net and a team of beaters