HE WAS A ROGUE WHEN HE LIVED

He was a rogue when he lived

And won’t be missed a bit

When you lay him in a box

Don’t buy the expensive kit

Or he’ll return from beyond

And then he’ll try to sell it

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 170

 

Little Polly Flinders

Sat down upon cinders,

Cinderella and Polly

Are naughty little girls aren’t they?

HAIR OF BLACK

 

Hair of black

Falls untamed

Over ivory skin

Stark in contrast

Like a ravens wing

Against an alabaster sky

ARE YOU WEARING A BLUSH?

 

Are you wearing a blush?

Oh was that another flush?

What have I been missing?

Who have you been kissing?

Have you been up to no good?

Been no better than you should?

Exactly what kind of disgrace?

Would put such colour in your face

PICKUP # 8

When you’re on the pull

If you want to break the ice

Say something funny

Or say something nice

Be devastatingly witty

Or say something clever

Be complimentary

Or just lie in your endeavour

But if your tastes are unusual

Don’t be shy about it

Don’t beat about the bush

Just come right out with it 

Say “I'd suck a fart out of your ass

And hold it like a bong hit”

MEMORY OF AN ELEPHANT

 

Apparently, my Dad

Has the memory of an Elephant

When he was a boy

At the Zoo he saw an Elephant

MY FATHER WAS TRYING TO EXPLAIN

 

My Father was trying to explain

About anaphylactic shock again

And wasn’t doing it very well

I could have explained it in a nutshell