A SMALL PRANG

 

I had a crash with another car

It was my fault, Granted

And the “little man” got out

And God how he ranted

“I’m not happy” he shouted

“I’m not happy” he said again

I just and smiled and said

“Which one are you then?”

CHRONIC CONTRADICTION

 

I am definitely not getting past it

I’m sorry I have to contradict

But my back trouble is a result

Of being Athletic, not arthritic

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 157

 

Three wise men of Gotham

Went to sea in a bowl:

Their wisdom was a misconception

They died and that’s natural selection

ARE YOU WEARING PRIMARK PANTS?

 

Are you wearing Primark pants?

Don’t you think that a little drastic?

You don’t want, on you wedding day

To be let down by cheap elastic

PILL POPPER # 1

 

Red and yellow and

Pink and Green

Purple and orange and blue

I take pills akimbo

Pills akimbo

I take quite a few

CALL CENTER MODE AGAIN

One day Bimbette was having trouble

With her computer,

So, she decided to try the call center

At a time that would suit her

 

"Hello how can I help you?"

The tech support guy asks

She replied, “I can’t get my computer

To do even the simplest tasks"

 

“Ok” said the tech support guy

“What's on your monitor now, miss?

“An elephant my boyfriend bought me

And a kangaroo called Kriss”

THEY’RE PUTTING ON ACTIVITIES

They’re putting on activities

For those whose lives need enhancing

Well I’m hard of hearing

And of the activities they are advancing

Budgie jumping, parrot shooting

And hen gliding 

Might be worth chancing

But no way am I going to have a go

At the Lion dancing