WALT DISNEY ON ICE

 

The kids wanted to see

Walt Disney on ice

They all thought

It would be really nice

 

However, it turned out

To be some old geezer,

Walt Disney apparently,

Lying dead in a freezer

OUR FAMILY PLANNING

 

There are only 13 months

Between my two little chaps

It was actually by design

As we didn’t want a big gap

So that’s why as part of the plan

My wife had a Caesarean

THE DALAI LAMA

 

In a vote for a leader of our planet

The Dalai Lama would be my bet

I would certainly risk a grand

If I were a Tibetan man

FOR MY 60TH BIRTHDAY

 

For my 60th birthday

I bought myself a sports car

It’s my pride and joy

Not that’s it’s been very far

As there is a slight problem

An oversight I have to admit

I need a hip replacement

Before I can get in it

THE BANK OF MUM AND DAD

 

When I bought my house

My parents kindly helped me

And now I really can’t

Thank them enough - apparently

ROUGED CHEEKS

Rouged cheeks

And blood red lips

Varnished nails

And tattooed flesh

Dyed sculptured hair

And black shadowed brow

Who are you?

All pierced and painted

And what have you done

With my lovely daughter? 

WHAT MY HEART YEARNS FOR MOST

 

What my heart yearns for most,

The thing that I really miss,

What keeps my passion burning

Is the thought of your sensual kiss