THE BANK OF MUM AND DAD

 

When I bought my house

My parents kindly helped me

And now I really can’t

Thank them enough - apparently

THE TWENTY FIRST CENTURY PLAGUE

 

Getting your toe

On the property ladder

Is so difficult

It’s more of an escalator

Constantly moving

At best just out of reach

More often out of sight

With property values so high

Caused by a shortage

And the housing shortage

Is blamed on many things

Increased immigration

(All needed according to the government)

An ever-ageing population

And increased single dwellers

Everything in fact

Rather than the truth

The real cause is greed

To many people owning too many homes

Second and third homes

Property which sit empty

50 weeks a year

Creating ghost towns

Across the country

Briefly inhabited by city dwellers

Who suck the life out of communities

And put nothing back

Shopping at their local hypermarket

Getting fuel on the motorway

And transporting everything they need

Buying nothing in the communities they invade

And the knock-on effect

Is to fuel the house price inflation

Which increases the value of their properties

While excluding so many from getting on the ladder

They have ripped the heart from small seaside towns

And destroyed villages and hamlets

Even the great plague couldn’t kill