A PERFECT GIFT

 

I just bought my wife a new fridge

I’ve just been online and paid for it

I’m so excited I can’t wait to see

Her face light up when she opens it

BLEAK FORECAST

 

There was Snow in the forecast!

And the TV weather girl said

“I’m expecting 8 inches tonight”

I thought to myself, “what a big head”

And anyway, with a face like that

She’d need her vibrator Instead

WE HAD A TRIVIA QUIZ

 

We had a Trivia quiz at the pub last night

And I got most of the questions right

But the final question was a mare

“Where do women have the curliest hair?”

I thought “this is an easy one for me”

The correct answer was actually Fiji

TRANSFUSION CONFUSION

Scientists have completed a study

And transfusions of Chicken blood

Are more beneficial medically

 

The positive side effects are that

It tends to make the men cocky

And women lay more regularly 

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 141

 

Curly Locks! Curly locks! Wilt thou be mine?

You’ll have to wash the dishes coz I’m a lazy swine

But I’ll lay you on a cushion and hold you in esteem

And I’ll make love too you until I make you scream

ARE YOU WEARING WIDOWS WEEDS?

 

Are you wearing widows’ weeds?

Well, you still have a woman needs

And you’re still in your prime

You’ve waited a respectful time

After that event so fateful

So just lie back and be grateful

CHARITY PLEADERS # 2

 

Just 3 pounds a month

From me and you

Will help to pay the lease

On their luxury HQ