THERE IS KNOWLEDGE I NEED TO KNOW # 4

 

There is knowledge I need to know

Which will keep me in the quiz

For example, why on earth doesn't

Onomatopoeia sound like what it is

THERE IS KNOWLEDGE I NEED TO KNOW # 3

 

There is knowledge I need to know

Which will keep me in the quiz

Like, if love is supposed to be blind,

Why is lingerie as popular as it is?

THE WHOLE FAMILY WERE WATCHING POINTLESS

 

The whole family were watching Pointless

Playing along and doing quite well, more or less

The first round was about words ending in TOR

But the answer was a carnivore or an omnivore

It had to end TOR, but the answer ate things

The first two answers were Alligator or Predator

My daughter shouted out “Vibrator” triumphantly

Good word but they don’t eat things I’m afraid sweetie

“Yes, they do dad” she argued “Mum told me so”

“She said, hers eats batteries like there’s no tomorrow”

A STARTER FOR TEN

 

In our house we never watch

University Challenge

And that’s because we are

Universally challenged

WE HAD ANOTHER TRIVIA QUIZ

    

We had a Trivia quiz at the pub last night

And I got most of the questions right

But the final question always tells

“Name two things commonly found in cells?”

It appears that Manc and Scouser

Was not the correct answer

WE HAD A TRIVIA QUIZ

 

We had a Trivia quiz at the pub last night

And I got most of the questions right

But the final question was a mare

“Where do women have the curliest hair?”

I thought “this is an easy one for me”

The correct answer was actually Fiji

THE QUIZZICAL SON

 

A young boy comes home from school

And addresses his father quizzically

"Dad, what's the difference between

Theoretically and realistically?"

 
His Dad considered for a moment

Then replied "this calls for a demonstration,

Go and ask Mum if she would sleep with

Ed Balls for a million pound remuneration"

The son raced off to ask his mother

Quickly returning with what he’d found

"Dad she said she would sleep with

Ed Balls for a million pounds"

 
His Dad considered for a moment

Then replied "Ok another demonstration,

Go and ask your Sister if she would sleep with

Ed Balls for a million pound remuneration"

 

The son raced off to ask his mother

Quickly returning with what he’d found

"Dad she said she would sleep with

Ed Balls for a million pounds"

 
His Dad considered for a moment

Then replied "Ok one final demonstration,

Go and ask your Brother if he would sleep with

Ed Balls for a million pound remuneration"

 
The son raced off to ask his mother

Quickly returning with what he’d found

"Dad he said he would sleep with

Ed Balls for a million pounds"

 
"Well there’s your answer, we could

Have three million pounds, theoretically.             

But as it turns out what we have is

Two slappers and a homosexual, realistically."

IT’S THE QUIZ OF THE WEEK # 2

 

Keithy’s guessing game

Is full of gems and jewels

Questions on music trivia

Set to expose the fools

My only complaint, is that he

Keeps changing the bloody rules

 

Keith is a guy that I work with and he entertains us with his amusing daily quiz, Keithy’s guessing game

It’s predominantly a music quiz but invariably branches off into other areas.

IT’S THE QUIZ OF THE WEEK # 1

 

I laugh in the face of quiz shows

With their supercilious so and so’s

I scoff at the “Mastermind” chair

And “Who wants to be a millionaire”

I spit on Ken Bruce’s “Pop Master”

The “Brain of Britain” or “The Krypton factor”

The only quiz worthy of its name

Is the excellent “Keithy’s guessing game”

 

Keith is a guy that I work with and he entertains us with his amusing daily quiz, Keithy’s guessing game.

It’s predominantly a music quiz but invariably branches off into other areas.

THE WHOLE FAMILY WERE WATCHING POINTLESS

The whole family were watching Pointless

Playing along and doing quite well, more or less

The first round was about words ending in TOR

But the answer was a carnivore or an omnivore

It had to end TOR, but the answer ate things

The first two answers were Alligator or Predator

My daughter shouted out “Vibrator” triumphantly

Good word but they don’t eat things I’m afraid sweetie

“Yes, they do dad” she argued “Mum told me so”

“She said, hers eats batteries like there’s no tomorrow” 

WE HAD A TRIVIA QUIZ

We had a Trivia quiz at the pub last night

And I got most of the questions right

But the final question was a mare

“Where do women have the curliest hair?”

I thought “this is an easy one for me”

The correct answer was actually Fiji