When my Gran got out of bed
After bedding one of
her chaps
She felt pains down
below
Coz she was standing
on her flaps
Sunday, 12 June 2022
WHEN MY GRAN GOT OUT OF BED # 3
MY PHILOSOPHY ON LIFE IS THIS
My philosophy on life is this
Whatever life throws
at me
Without thinking I
pick it up
And throw it back
instantly
I HAVE FOUND AT MY AGE
I have found at my age
When the day is
dawning
The easiest thing in
the world
Is to roll out of bed
in the morning
Getting up off the
floor however
Really leaves me
yarning
WHATEVER LIFE THROWS AT YOU
Whatever life throws at you
The thing you must do
To be at your very
best
Is bat it back with
interest
Or if you are out of
luck
Your best bet is to
duck
You are safe that way
If you duck out of the
way
When there is no way
to stop it
Then someone else will
cop it
IF MY GIRLFRIEND IS WEARING TIGHTS
When my girlfriend
Is wearing tights
And she over does it
Eating Turkish delight
Her mouth stuffed full
She starts to cough
Involuntarily farts
And blows her slippers
off
THE OLD BANGER
The old banger
Wouldn’t start this
morning
It wasn’t too long
after
The day was dawning
I just kept trying
Over and over
But I couldn’t
Get her to turn over
Until eventually
With a cough and a
fart
I managed to get
The old thing to start
Though not working
On full power
She got out of bed
And went in the shower
THE LIFE OF PIE
Off they go to the bakers
For a pie of pork and
pickle
Trundling along the
road
Riding on their
obesecycle
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