CRASH PROCEDURE

 

As the 747 was falling

Uncontrollably from the sky

A female passenger ripped off her clothes

And began to cry

“Can someone make me feel like a real woman?

Before I die”?

A man stood up and took off his shirt

“Here iron this,” said the guy

TOOTING

 

Come and hear grandpa play

His tuneful little flageolet

Come hear the Zufolo toot

And listen to his fipple flute

FAST CARS

 

Cars keep getting faster and faster

Hurtling from disaster to disaster

We should slow them down again

To the speed of the driver’s brain

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 121

 

Mary had a little drink

And got pissed as a cricket

She was found in the woods

Showing the boys her thicket

ARE YOU WEARING AN ENGAGEMENT RING?

 

Are you wearing an engagement ring?

Oh isn’t it a beautifully sparkly thing

It clearly signifies as it sparkles in the light

That you haven’t yet married Mr Right

So even if the answer might well be no

It’s definitely well worth giving it a go

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 12

 

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks

Most are just scrounging off the state

But there is one working as an elocutionist

He doesn’t really communicate

And it scares a lot of the clients

When it says Enunciate, Enunciate

COUNTRY WATCH

 

I went to the countryside

And you know when I looked

I could see animals roaming about

That were totally uncooked