21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 108

 

The North wind doth blow and we shall have snow

Pavements won’t be cleared, and roads won’t see grit

Council employees will sit in the depot keeping warm

While the rest of us citizens have to get on with it

ARE YOU WEARING A SHEEPDOG BRA?

 

Are you wearing a sheepdog bra?

Don’t answer I can see that you are

Because the rounded-up confections

Are pointed in the right direction

FAMILY PLANNING ADVICE

 

I went to the family planning clinic

And I got a tip that is beyond price

It was written below the sign

For “Family Planning Advice”

It simply read “Use rear entrance”

That’s what I call good advice

QUEUE JUMPERS

 

Outside a popular night club

A set of jump leads were queuing

The bouncer said, “I'll let you in

As long but don't start anything”

I SAW SOMETHING NOT VERY NICE

I saw something not very nice

A poor old man fell over on the ice

I rushed over to him right away

He was very poor I would say

Lying on the icy ground

His pockets contained about a pound

DOCTOR UPBEAT

 

My Doctor said to me, “Jack

You’re a hypochondriac

You'll live to be 60" I said "I’m 62"

"You see I told you”

DRUNK AT THE BAR

 

A drunk was brought before the judge.

The judge said as he was walked in

"You've been brought before me for drinking."

And the drunk said, "Great, I’ll have a gin"