HOW DO YOU MAKE A FRUIT FLY?

 

How do you make a fruit fly?

Well first a ticket you need to buy

Then give him a good snort

And then take him to the airport

ICE CREAM PARLOUR # 2

 

I went to the ice cream parlour

And ordered an ice cream sundae

“Hundreds & thousands?” he asked

“No, I’ll just have the one for today”

MARGE AT LARGE

 

Marjorie was a clairvoyant

Of diminutive stature

Imprisoned for fraud

Or something of that nature

But she escaped

They couldn’t hold on to Marge

The police now seek

A small medium at large

THE SPICE OF LIFE

 

In the great war my grandfather

Survived a mustard gas attack

On a peace march my father

Survived a pepper spray attack

On a rally my uncle had mace

Squirted right in his face

I suppose you could call my ancestors

Seasoned campaigners

GOOD HEALTH WARNING

 

In regard to the state of good health

The fact that you cannot deny

Good health is just the slowest speed

At which we will eventually die

ALPEN DANGER

 

My dear friend was pulled under

By a strong currant, and tragically

My dear friend was drowned

In his breakfast bowl of muesli

NHS CUT BACKS # 1

 

The NHS has plans to save money

As they are strapped for cash

The plans have got up the Allergists noses

And Dermatologists think them rash