BLACKBERRY CAT, RIP

 

BLACKBERRY 07/09/1991 to 04/11/2010

 

No more will I hear

Your most contented purr

That made you dribble on your fur

No more will I be greeted at the door

By your hello meow

No more will you pirouette around my feet

And perform your excited meal time dance

No more will you curl up on my lap

While I watch TV

No more will you curl up on the bed

When I go to sleep

Never again will I wake up

To hear your morning purr

For you have no more mornings

While you sleep your eternal sleep

You were more than a cat

You were a welcoming friend

A quiet companion

You were a constant

And I will miss you Blackberry

LOOSE MORALS # 2

 

She showed all her bits in Biarritz

She went all the way in St Tropez

When she got hot on a yacht

And got bare arsed before the mast

ERIC THE CLERIC

 

Atmospheric Eric

An evangelical cleric

Was highly esoteric

And was quite mesmeric

But the atmospheric cleric

Was prone to the hysteric

And like his father Derek

Became a bedlam cleric

A CALCULATED DECISION

Miss Armitage entered Calculus class

To stand amidst a disorderly eruption

And she immediately confiscated a catapult

Deemed to be a weapon of math disruption

TENSE TRAVELLER

 

I just returned yesterday

From the town of Oldham

But as that is in the past now

I suppose it should be Feltham

PHILOSOPHICAL REMINDER

 

Even though hurting you

Is the very last thing I want to do

Not to tell you this would be remiss

It is still on the list.

TAKEN ITS TOLL

 

I don’t have a bell to ring

Someone’s taken my dingaling

 

I don’t know what’s wrong

Someone has taken my dong

 

I don’t know why the bloody hell

I can’t seem to ring my bell

 

I know the batteries haven’t run out

It’s not old and clapped out

 

So, I’m at a loss to explain

Why I’m out here in the pouring rain

 

Now wait a moment that’s not right

It should be visible an LED light

 

Now that really is quite odd

It’s gone, some thieving little sod

 

Has stolen the bell push off the door

Light and all, to be seen no more

 

So, I don’t have a bell to ring

As someone’s stolen my dingaling