TAKING OFFENCE

 

People are so easily offended today

This is quite ironic really

As due to political correctness

We are censored so heavily

And with all the sanitising

There is so little opportunity

But those who do take offence

Fall into three distinct categories

 

Firstly, the genuinely offended

Those who feel the detriment, 

Whose opinion is seldom heard

Unless it’s politically expedient

 

Second, the white middle class heterosexuals

Who like to be offended on others behalf

And are particularly suspicious

At anything that gets a laugh

 

Thirdly, come the professionals

Those who get offended for a living

They frequent the morning TV sofas

And are relentlessly unforgiving

 

The professionals feel no offence

But find their roles financially fulfilling

They will take umbrage for anyone

Just to earn another shilling

 

Even worse however is anticipated offence

Those who want to act just in case

Some unspeakable offence may be caused

If things are unchanged or left in place

 

The original intention may well have been

That a better society was planned

But what they have managed to do instead

Is to make the world more bland

A PINCH OF SALT

 

Take life with a pinch of salt

So, the old adage goes

So, follow the advice

Take it from one who knows

Take life with a pinch of salt

Take it from a wise fella

Just follow it with a slice of lemon

And a good shot of tequila

ABIGAILS TALE - ONE DAY VERY SOON

 

In the comfort of the coffee shop

Nestled into a sofa

Sits Abigail, homesick and sad

As she reads a letter from home

 

She knows the sadness will pass

And sooner this time than the last

It strikes each time a letter arrives from home

With news from those she left behind

 

Her parents, loving and kind

Her sister annoyingly lovely

All her friends of long standing

And of course, him

 

She left her hometown

The only place she had ever lived

After her marriage failed

So, she is building a new life

 

Away from the people and places

Away from all the familiarity

That reminded her daily

Of her failure and her inadequacies

 

So, she lives in a new town

And is making new friends

Discovering new familiar places

And trying to forget past mistakes

 

She has joined a new church

Where her angel’s voice

Sings in praise to heaven

And she is finding peace within herself

 

One day very soon Abigail will sit

In the comfort of the coffee shop

Nestled into a sofa

And not be homesick and sad

 

One day very soon Abigail will read

A long letter from home

And smile at it contents

And not feel the old pain strike

 

One day very soon

Abigail will let herself be happy

One day very soon

Abigail will forgive herself

SEPARATE

 

Sleeping separate nights

Living separate days

We live separate lives

Let’s go our separate ways

NOT PAYING ATTENSION

 

I was only half listening to the radio

So I’m not sure if I heard right

But I think the gist of it was

“Partly Sunni, but mostly Shi'ite”

I think it was the weather forecast,

Meaning “Persistent rain but occasionally bright”

DIVORCE IS..... # 1

 

Divorce is…

Cathartic, purification

Therapeutically purgative

Like colonic irrigation

IN MY GHIA

 

Wherever I drive my Ford Ghia

Whether it be far of near

No matter if the roads are clear

In my mirror to the rear

A BMW’s Teutonic sneer

Will almost always appear