I AM A FORTIFIED WINE CONNOISSEUR

 

I am a connoisseur

Of all types of wine

Albeit self-taught

And have a Radio channel

About fortified wines

It’s called, Talks Port

LIFE’S VEXATIONS # 1

 

Is there anything more annoying?

Is anything quite as wrong?

As the DJ on the radio

Not telling you who sang the song

I AM A FORTIFIED WINE CONNOISSEUR

 

I am a connoisseur

Of all types of wine

Albeit self taught

And have a Radio channel

About fortified wines

It’s called, Talks Port

NOT PAYING ATTENSION

 

I was only half listening to the radio

So I’m not sure if I heard right

But I think the gist of it was

“Partly Sunni, but mostly Shi'ite”

I think it was the weather forecast,

Meaning “Persistent rain but occasionally bright”

MORNINGS AREN’T THE SAME ANYMORE

 

I miss Wake Up to Wogan

I miss the old camuggian

Wogan was the class, but alas

He’s been replaced by the brash

 

How did Chris Evans get the job?

That I can only surmise

But it’s like the Krankies

Replacing Morecambe and Wise