SENIOR FORCAST

 

Since I’ve been retired

I’ve noticed that my hips

Are more accurate forecasters

Than those met office twits

BITCHIN’ BABE

 

Wow as you passed slowly by

You really caught my eye

With your figure so top class

Can I grope and squeeze your arse?

You have a very ample chest

Can I fumble inside your vest?

Are you moist beneath the waist?

Will you let me have a taste?

Oh, your hips gyrate and tease

Let me split your whiskers please

Let me leave you in a state of bliss

If not, I will gladly settle for a kiss

WYNNE OR NO

 

Do you know who invented the crossword?

I can't remember his name for the life of me

It’s on the tip of my tongue just out of reach

It’s W something N something E

RAMBLING

 

I met a guy from the ramblers today

I think his name was John

He was a harmless bloke I suppose

But he just went on and on

DAYS DOWN BY THE SEA

 

Days down by the sea 

Far away from amusement arcades

Away from the pier

And noisy shopping parades

Just wide empty beaches

The salt sea breeze in my hair

Whatever the weather

I really don’t care

Long languid days

Spent down by sea 

Just a wet shaggy dog

My lady and me

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 34

 

Old Mother Hubbard

Went to the cupboard

To get her and doggie some bread

When she got there

The cupboard was bare

So she ate the doggie instead.

THE NINE MUSES OF THE ARTS – URANIA (MUSE OF ASTRONOMY)

 

The nine muses

Daughters of Zeus

Inspiring of mortals

And nurturers of the arts

The ninth and final was,

The divine Urania,

Heavenly muse,

Was the muse of astrology

A globe in her hand

Dressed in a cloak embroidered with stars

Urania was reader of the stars