A naked man sunbathing at the beach
In order to preserve
his dignity
And protect it from
the sun
Placed his hat over
his thingamy
A passing woman smiled
and said
“A gentleman would
lift his hat for a lady”
He replied “If you get
your kit off
Madam it will raise
itself, maybe”
With such widespread use of breast implants
There will surely come
a time in the next 50 years
When there will be a
large octogenarian population
Of confused and
befuddled perky breasted grandmas
My pencil case is in love
But not with a pencil
But with two
schoolbags
It must be bi-satchel.
Local authorities’ love recycling
It’s a green policy
and its one that wins
They want to reduce
the carbon footprint
Of the electorate, for
their sins
But if they were truly
serious
They’d stop making so many
recycling bins
“You’re fighting for a just cause”
That is the
justification
“You’ll make the world
a safer place”
“You’ll protect your
nation”
These are the
politician’s words
Spoken with passion
and pride
Spoken away from the
line of fire
Spoken from where
warmongers hide
Men of empty rhetoric
These politicians
never see danger
Safe on their leather
seats
They never hear shots
fired in anger
Itsy Bitsy spider climbing up the spout
Where all the chemical
waste comes out
Now Itsy Bitsy spider
isn’t quite the same
And can no longer get
in the spout again
Put downs work the best
For deflecting
unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the
tension
If he says to you
“What’s going on in that pretty little head honey?”
Just reply to him
“I'm trying to imagine
you with a personality”
