DRINKING FROM THE UGLY POND

 

Alcohol was originally invented

So ugly people could have sex too

Because viewed thru beer goggles

Everyone looks beautiful to you

It also serves to add some variety

To the beautiful people’s gene pool

CLEAN SWEEP

 

A clean desk is the sign

Of a sick mind

A clean house is the sign

Of a wasted life

A clean mind is….

Just unnatural

THE BULLDOG BREED

 

The British in the past

Seemed to have more grit

The Londoners of old

Bombarded in the Blitz

Shook their fists in defiance

Such were the plucky Brits

People alive today

Would never stand for it

They’d shout about human rights

And probably serve a writ

URANIA

 

The last mythological muse

Urania, muse of astrology

Foreteller of the future

By the stars array

Dressed in a cloak

Embroidered with stars

Holding a globe in her left hand

Always looking to the heavens

a goddess of universal love

And possessed with the holy spirit

The Renaissance Urania

Was muse to the Christian poets

And still gazed to the heavens

But saw God amongst the stars

CUT FROM DIFFERENT CLOTH

 

My parents were born between the wars,

And in their day

People were cut from different cloth

A sturdy resilient cloth

A cloth that bound the nation together

They were tougher people

Who lived through tough times

The general strike, the depression

The Second World War

20 years of rationing

But life had greater value

Because its pleasures came hard

And life was more than a measure

Of what could be possessed

The post baby boomers

Roll their eyes at such talk

But our country is weaker

And its people

Less sturdy, less resilient

Today we are a ragged nation

Just a collection of frayed threads

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 24

 

An apple a day

Keeps the doctor away

Isn’t really true

So, the best thing to do

Is squirt some mace

Into their face

HAPPY BIRTHDAY # 20

 

I wish you a happy birthday

And I won’t mention your age

But if you were a bottle of wine

You would definitely be vint-age

If you were a wheel of cheese

You would certainly be mature

And if you were a sports car

You’d be a classic that’s for sure

You are someone special

A one off you’re quite unique

But to be honest you should accept

You’re actually an antique