A TIMELY REFLECTION

 

I am feeling my age

Now I’m of the silver haired class

But on the bright side

I’m still on the right side of the grass

FEVERISH MORE AND MORE

 

That medical catastrophe

The flu pandemic

Is not as bad as expected

It’s not even an epidemic

A large number of reported cases

On closer examination

Were found to have been

Preceded by infatuation

This is a totally different strain

Of contagious flu

Which the W.H.O.

Has been renamed swoon flu

A MEASURED REFLECTION

 

When I was young

I was broad minded

And narrow hipped

Now I’m middle aged

My proportions

Appear to have flipped

PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE

 

I have three teenage sons

With appetites like men

And it costs a fortune

Feeding all of them

But due to the economy

Times are hard you see

So as they eat like men

At dinner time I told them

“Due to the current recession

Which may lead to a depression

Tough times are ahead you know

So we will have to let you all go"

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 16

 

Jack asked Jill

Are you on the pill?

As I have no form of protection

Jill looked grim

Then said to him

Where he could stick his erection

HAPPY BIRTHDAY # 12

 

Congratulations and felicitations

But don’t drink too much at the celebration

Too much may cause you to tell your friends

Again and again that you love them

PUT DOWN # 15

 

Put downs work the best

For deflecting unwanted attention

But try to be amusing

As this relieves the tension

If he says to you

“You’re more than a woman to me”

Just reply to him

“More than you know, my name’s Henry”