I phoned the swine flu hotline
When my chest started
rattling
Because that was the
advice
But all I got was crackling
Showing posts with label Flu. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Flu. Show all posts
Tuesday 2 May 2023
Sunday 13 March 2022
I DON’T BOTHER WITH FLU JABS
Its flu jab season again
But I always give them
a pass
I self-medicate with
alcohol
It really is first
class
So just say to the doc
When he starts to tut
That a shot in your
glass
Is better than one in
the butt
Sunday 13 February 2022
LOVE IS CONTAGIOUS
Love is like a bad winter cold
It strikes at the young and the old
It’s not something for which they can inoculate
There is no cure for those who participate
So even if you feel like you have the flu
Love is just something you must go through
Saturday 12 February 2022
FEVERISH ONCE MORE
That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as
expected
It’s not even an
epidemic
A large number of
reported cases
On closer examination
Were found to have
been
In contact with
evergreen vegetation
This is a totally
different strain
Of contagious flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed Pine
flu
FEVERISH MORE AND MORE
That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as
expected
It’s not even an
epidemic
A large number of
reported cases
On closer examination
Were found to have
been
Preceded by
infatuation
This is a totally
different strain
Of contagious flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed swoon
flu
Friday 11 February 2022
FEVERISH ONCE AGAIN
That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as
expected
It’s not even an
epidemic
A large number of
reported cases
On closer examination
Were found to have been
Preceded by
infatuation
This is a totally
different strain
Of contagious flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed swain
flu
Thursday 10 February 2022
FEVERISH AGAIN
I am suffering from gammon flu
It’s not particularly
nasty
I was suffering from
swine flu
But then they cured me
FEVERISH YET AGAIN
That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as expected
It’s not even an
epidemic
A large number of
reported cases
Turned out to be MAN
flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed whine
flu
FEVERISH AGAIN AND AGAIN
That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as
expected
It’s not even an epidemic
A large number of
reported cases
On closer examination
Were found to have
been
Preceded by
intoxication
This is a totally
different strain
Of contagious flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed wine
flu
Friday 4 February 2022
EPIDEMIC TO PANDEMIC
The UK swine flu cases
Have now reach sixty-two
But the shocking news
That’s being kept from
you
Is of the 35 million
Confirmed cases of man
flu
Monday 31 January 2022
FEVERISH
I don’t think I have swine flu
As I haven’t been to
Mexico
But I don’t feel well
at all
I feel like crap if
you must know
I thought of the NHS
for advice
On the flu and perhaps
its tackling
So I phoned the swine
flu hotline
But all I got was
crackling
Wednesday 3 June 2009
EPIDEMIC TO PANDEMIC
The UK swine flu cases
Have now reach sixty two
But the shocking news
That’s being kept from you
Is of the 35 million
Confirmed cases of man flu
Have now reach sixty two
But the shocking news
That’s being kept from you
Is of the 35 million
Confirmed cases of man flu
FEVERISH
I don’t think I have swine flu
As I haven’t been to Mexico
But I don’t feel well at all
I feel like crap if you must know
I thought of the NHS for advice
On the flu and perhaps its tackling
So I phoned the swine flu hotline
But all I got was crackling
As I haven’t been to Mexico
But I don’t feel well at all
I feel like crap if you must know
I thought of the NHS for advice
On the flu and perhaps its tackling
So I phoned the swine flu hotline
But all I got was crackling
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