Showing posts with label Flu. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Flu. Show all posts

Tuesday, 2 May 2023

I PHONED THE SWINE FLU HOTLINE

I phoned the swine flu hotline

When my chest started rattling

Because that was the advice

But all I got was crackling 

Sunday, 13 March 2022

I DON’T BOTHER WITH FLU JABS

 

Its flu jab season again

But I always give them a pass

I self-medicate with alcohol

It really is first class

So just say to the doc

When he starts to tut

That a shot in your glass

Is better than one in the butt

Sunday, 13 February 2022

LOVE IS CONTAGIOUS

Love is like a bad winter cold

It strikes at the young and the old

It’s not something for which they can inoculate

There is no cure for those who participate

So even if you feel like you have the flu

Love is just something you must go through

Saturday, 12 February 2022

FEVERISH ONCE MORE

 

That medical catastrophe

The flu pandemic

Is not as bad as expected

It’s not even an epidemic

A large number of reported cases

On closer examination

Were found to have been

In contact with evergreen vegetation

This is a totally different strain

Of contagious flu

Which the W.H.O.

Has been renamed Pine flu

FEVERISH MORE AND MORE

 

That medical catastrophe

The flu pandemic

Is not as bad as expected

It’s not even an epidemic

A large number of reported cases

On closer examination

Were found to have been

Preceded by infatuation

This is a totally different strain

Of contagious flu

Which the W.H.O.

Has been renamed swoon flu

Friday, 11 February 2022

FEVERISH ONCE AGAIN

 

That medical catastrophe

The flu pandemic

Is not as bad as expected

It’s not even an epidemic

A large number of reported cases

On closer examination

Were found to have been

Preceded by infatuation

This is a totally different strain

Of contagious flu

Which the W.H.O.

Has been renamed swain flu


Thursday, 10 February 2022

FEVERISH AGAIN

 

I am suffering from gammon flu

It’s not particularly nasty

I was suffering from swine flu

But then they cured me

FEVERISH YET AGAIN

 

That medical catastrophe

The flu pandemic

Is not as bad as expected

It’s not even an epidemic

A large number of reported cases

Turned out to be MAN flu

Which the W.H.O.

Has been renamed whine flu

FEVERISH AGAIN AND AGAIN

 

That medical catastrophe

The flu pandemic

Is not as bad as expected

It’s not even an epidemic

A large number of reported cases

On closer examination

Were found to have been

Preceded by intoxication

This is a totally different strain

Of contagious flu

Which the W.H.O.

Has been renamed wine flu

Friday, 4 February 2022

EPIDEMIC TO PANDEMIC

 

The UK swine flu cases

Have now reach sixty-two

But the shocking news

That’s being kept from you

Is of the 35 million

Confirmed cases of man flu

Monday, 31 January 2022

FEVERISH

 

I don’t think I have swine flu

As I haven’t been to Mexico

But I don’t feel well at all

I feel like crap if you must know

I thought of the NHS for advice

On the flu and perhaps its tackling

So I phoned the swine flu hotline

But all I got was crackling

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

EPIDEMIC TO PANDEMIC

The UK swine flu cases
Have now reach sixty two
But the shocking news
That’s being kept from you
Is of the 35 million
Confirmed cases of man flu

FEVERISH

I don’t think I have swine flu
As I haven’t been to Mexico
But I don’t feel well at all
I feel like crap if you must know
I thought of the NHS for advice
On the flu and perhaps its tackling
So I phoned the swine flu hotline
But all I got was crackling