21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 9

 

Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town,

Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown,

The silly man would have looked better

If he waited till the warmer weather

HAPPY BIRTHDAY # 5

If you were a sports car

You would be a classic of course

But your big end has gone

And you leak from the exhaust

PUT DOWN # 8

Put downs work the best

For deflecting unwanted attention

But try to be amusing

As this relieves the tension

“Where have you been all my life?”

Is the kind of line you might get

So just reply to him

“I wasn’t born for most of it”

ALL ENCOMPASSING

 

A compass point

Will show due north

And knowing where north resides

Let’s you find your way

To all points due

This differs greatly

From a moral compass point

Which only has one position

And always points you to

“Do the right thing”

A VOYAGE ROUND MY FATHER (4)

 

My dad told me

“Susan’s going to Indonesia”

So I said “Bali?”

“Oh no, she’s not a dancer”

EPIDEMIC TO PANDEMIC

 

The UK swine flu cases

Have now reach sixty-two

But the shocking news

That’s being kept from you

Is of the 35 million

Confirmed cases of man flu

CRIME WATCH

 

To reduce rising crime

There are criteria to meet

One of which is of course

More “Bobbies” on the beat

 

Preventative measures help

Taking precaution certainly

Locking doors and windows

Fitting alarms and CCTV

 

But the only certain way

For your possessions to remain

And for streets to be crime free

Is to stay indoors and pray for rain