MEN ARE ALL THE SAME

 

Men are all the same

Let’s say that from the start

They have different faces

But only to tell them apart

Like distinguishing marks

And another alarming fact

If, all men are created equal

How sad is that?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY’S

 

Another birthday has arrived

Happy birthday we all shout

The cake is a mass of candles

A milestone year without doubt

Just be sure you wish for strength

To blow all the candles out

WEDDING SUPER

 

Well congratulations are in order

Two superheroes have tied the knot

The Invisible Man has just got married

To the Invisible Woman and why not

But I would offer to the happy couple

This note of caution, I would suggest

They avoid at all costs having a brat

Because it will be nothing to look at

WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?

 

I’ve always been paranoid

That I will admit

And for many years

I’ve been getting help with it

Now to a life of deafness

I have been condemned

And I know people talk about me

But now I can’t hear them

AM I BOVVERED

 

She drove in the exit as I drove out

And I hit her car with a mighty clout

With a chorus of colourful language

She got out to inspect the damage

Her hair was pulled back from her face

Eyes bulging as if sprayed with mace

Skin tighter than the string of a bow 

As if she’d had her head out the window

I wasn’t sure if she was injured or ok

Or if her face always looked that way

I inquired if she was injured or hurt

Her response was certainly quite curt

Then I pointed out she was at fault

And she reared up like an angry colt

We exchange details insurance and such

And got in my car and wished her luck

I pointed out her horse like behaviour

And the extent of her driving failure

She was a very long way past miffed

The angry girl with the Croydon facelift

TITTER YE NOT AMY

 

The pop diva Amy Winehouse

It was announced in the press today

Is to buy Frankie Howard’s old house

After she’s been to rehab for a short stay

She was told she had to go to rehab

Though she said nay, nay and thrice nay

BYE, BYE, EVERYONE, BYE, BYE

 

Sooty is 60 years old now

And has had a long career

But behind the sweet façade

There lurks a secret I fear

Sooty and co-star Sweep

Were rivals for the love of Soo

This caused bitter resentment

Still unresolved between the two

Soo’s on screen persona

Was all sweetness and light

But being fought over

Brought her great delight

But this well kept secret

Is not the only one you see

There is another scandal

Lurking to embarrass Sooty

Despite Soo’s on screen image

Off screen she was quite wild

And the dirty little Panda

Had Sooty’s glove child