AS JIMINY CRICKET FAMOUSLY SAID

 

As Jiminy Cricket famously said

“Let conscience be your guide”

It’s a simple enough philosophy

Listen to the voice of reason

Keep compassion in your heart

And integrity at your core

And you won’t go far wrong

EURO TRASH # 2

 

It’s really great not being a foreigner

As I don’t have to ask myself whether

The man with a feather in his hat is a forester

A customs man or a rural police officer

ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – HOSTILE WITNESS (1969)

 

“Hostile Witness” is a Courtroom Drama, screenplay written by Jack Roffey based on his own play and Directed by Ray Milland .

 

In this extremely enjoyable courtroom drama, the daughter of successful Barrister Simon Crawford (Ray Milland), is killed in what appears to be a hit and run accident.

However, the police are unable to find the culprit, and Crawford swears that he will find the driver of the car and take revenge.

Later when his neighbour (a high court judge) is killed in a staged burglary, the blame falls on Crawford, after a letter is found implicating the neighbour in the death of Crawford's daughter.

When it comes to trial he is defended by his junior Sheila Larkin (Sylvia Syms) but after many twists and turns he ends up defending himself.

As you may expect from such a film, there is an unexpected twist at the end.

WHEN MY GIRLFRIEND SUGGESTED # 2

 

When my girlfriend suggested

We play hospitals

I thought phwor

 

But she gave me an enema

And now I don’t want

To play anymore

WHEN ALBERT EINSTEIN

 

When Albert Einstein

Tugged on his penis

It was widely regarded

As a stroke of genius

ARE YOU WEARING A TOGA?

 

Are you wearing a toga?

I don’t want to be an ogre

But you’ll be a hit alright

At the house party tonight

As everyone will be knowing.

Because you will be showing

That beneath the flowing robes

You have unfettered globes

I WAS CAUGHT SHOPLIFTING

I was caught shoplifting

Form the Apple store

It was my first offence

I’d not done it before

 

They didn’t prosecute

I got lucky clearly

Although I think it was

Only Scrumping really